The Women You’re Losing — And Why No One’s Talking About It
She’s highly capable. A mentor. A stabilising force in her team.
And she’s already halfway out the door.
Not because of pay.
Not because of a lack of ambition.
But because the mental load she carries — quietly and consistently — has become too heavy. And no one noticed.
In today’s workplaces, women aren’t just leaving.
They’re leaving strategically, silently, and often permanently — not because they want to stop contributing, but because they no longer feel it’s sustainable.
Mental health support isn’t a wellness perk anymore. It’s foundational to retention. And when it’s not there, women go where it is.
Why You Didn’t See It Coming
On paper, she was thriving. She met deadlines. Supported colleagues. Responded quickly. Smiled in meetings.
She may have even said, “I’m fine.”
But beneath the surface, the cracks had already formed. Somewhere between the 4am anxiety spirals, calendar overload, hormonal shifts, and being the default carer at home, she started doing the math.
And eventually, she realised no one else was doing it with her.
By the time her resignation appeared in your inbox, her decision had been made for months.
We Measure Turnover — But Not What Causes It
Most organisations have frameworks for performance, promotion, and pay.
What they often lack is a clear view of what leads high-performing women to disengage in the first place.
Here’s what’s frequently missed:
- Emotional fatigue hidden behind perfect delivery
- Chronic stress accepted as “just being busy”
- Isolation masked as professionalism
- Life transitions (fertility, miscarriage, menopause, caregiving, loss) absorbed silently
- Internalised guilt for not doing or being “enough” — at home and at work
According to the Deloitte Women @ Work 2023 report, 28% of women say their mental health is poor or very poor — yet only 21% feel comfortable discussing this at work. Even more concerning, over half of women surveyed say their employer doesn’t support them through life-stage transitions like menopause or fertility journeys.
This is the invisible gap between policy and reality — and it’s costing companies their future leaders.
The Limits of Generic Support
Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs) are the default answer for many organisations. But these systems are often:
- Reactive, not preventative
- Generic, not gender-responsive
- Poorly communicated and severely underutilised
According to a 2022 report by the Workplace Mental Health Institute, only 5–10% of employees use EAPs, with women less likely to engage due to concerns about privacy, relevance, and stigma.
Support can’t be meaningful if it doesn’t feel safe or tailored.
If your platform isn’t built with women in mind — with their physical, emotional, and hormonal realities — then they won’t use it.
And if they’re not using it, they’re likely coping alone.
What Real Support Looks Like: The Nixy Model
Nixy was built with one goal in mind: to meet women where they are — not just when a crisis hits, but in the everyday emotional rhythms that define working life.
Our platform offers:
- Access to qualified female-led mental health support
- Coaching and therapy that addresses both career and life transitions
- Tools for cycle and mood tracking, identity shifts, burnout prevention, and stress regulation
- A private, data-secure environment designed to build trust and consistency over time
It’s a model that centres ongoing care, personalisation, and proactivity — everything most legacy systems lack.
Because effective support doesn’t just help women stay.
It helps them stay well — and grow stronger.
For HR and Leadership: A Call to Action This Mental Health Week
World Mental Health Week is about more than awareness.
It’s about reassessing how we build environments that help people flourish — not just survive.
If you’re serious about retaining women, this is what to consider:
- Audit your existing mental health support — is it gender-informed and actually used?
- Create space for honest feedback — do your female employees feel safe discussing their wellbeing?
- Invest in solutions that understand women’s real lives — platforms like Nixy aren’t add-ons; they’re infrastructure.
- Educate leadership on the emotional and hormonal load women carry — and how to support it practically.
- Measure retention through wellbeing — not just output or engagement surveys.
Retention, Rethought
Retention isn’t about stopping people from leaving.
It’s about creating a culture they don’t have to recover from.
So if your organisation is losing women and you’re not sure why — look closer.
Ask the questions that don’t appear on performance reviews.
And most importantly — listen without waiting for a crisis.
Because when women feel seen, supported, and safe, they don’t just stay.
They lead.